Welcome to The Wednesday Smash, a blog dedicated to what he likes, what she likes, what I like, and everything in between. But mostly pickles.
I update every Wednesday so make sure you keep checking to get your weekly dose of the Smash. So get ready, ladies and gentlemen, your hump-days just got happier.
To start off this week’s smash, there’s this type of pizza that’s been on the buzz in this part of the world. But before that, let me fill you in on the details.
I was grabbing some dinner one night, so I walked around for a while (Two hours) and finally stumbled into a Pizza Hut. While reading through the menu, we decided to get the usual: Six Cheese special with two pastas and servings of mushroom soup. After giving our orders, and right before the waiter was about to rush it to the counter, my father stopped him and decided to add one more pizza: The Pizza Hut Lechon Pizza.
Now where I’m from Lechon is a whole pig, the fat and all, roasted over coals and browned to perfection. It’s one of the Philippines’ flagship dishes, as famous as Adobo. If that didn’t give you quite a good picture of what a lechon is, here’s one in all its glory:
It goes without saying that the Lechon isn’t exactly something you find on diet books, what with all the fat and cholesterol, this thing’s bound to get you to rushed to the emergency room. Then again, on that day St. Lukes had the “Half-off on all rooms promo.”
So back to the story, my father getting the lechon pizza. Granted, I’m not much for incredibly greasy pizza, but after two grueling hours of arguing whether Chinese trumps Mexican, or Italian as opposed to Mediterranean, all I needed now was something to munch on. So why not?
And so I made one of the worst decisions of my life.
Think of the greasiest piece of bread that you’ve ever had. Now on that slice of bread, there’s a piece of meat that’s about ninety per cent cholesterol. Now dump a whole lot of their “Special” Sauce. Ladies and Germs, in your hands is the Lechon Pizza. Throw it away.
Why they decided to serve such an abortion, I had no idea. On my first slice, I felt that if I didn’t stop my body would shut itself down just so I wouldn’t have to take in another bite. And don’t let me start on how I felt the next day. If you know what a hangover feels like, you’d be lucky to be feeling that instead of what I felt the next morning. What exactly inspired this terrible assault on the senses, I haven’t the idea.
All-in-all, the sales Pizza Hut must have made out of that ghastly pizza, might have been either out of depressed customers looking to eat their problems(life) away, or from people who grew tired of drinking games and decided to include this instead of alcohol for more interesting(dangerous) games.
And now it’s your turn: I want you guys to send me any and all pictures/experiences/videos of food that you’ll never eat. I’ll choose the top dishes and preview them next week. I expect gut-wrenching pictures that’ll take your appetite and bang its head against the wall. Send ’em to
Now, boys and girls, I give you a good laugh:
The Wednesday Smash
“Putting the You in Tubes since 1875”