Tag Archives: Anne Frank

Lewis, Tolstoy, Hemingway, Austen….Bieber?

Hey guys, what’s happening?

I’m back from my hiatus and I’m ready to continue handing out that Wednesday Smash you love so much. (Yeah, you know it) So let’s brighten up your hump-day, shall we?

The smash is back.

All right, boys and girls, this all started when I was walking down the street one fine afternoon, and passing by a bookstore, I saw this:

Just. No.

 


Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a Bieber hater. I mean yeah, it’s weird that he’s, what? Sixteen? And he’s still waiting to be slapped in the face by puberty,and it’s weird how, other than sounding like a girl, he even manages to look like one in the cover. Even what he says, quoting the Bieb, his book has “Lots of exclusive photos just for you. Love Justin xxx.”

Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s rap. The places you find “xxx”:

-Smut

-A game of Tic Tac Toe

-Scribbled on books of little girls along with “O”s in between.

-And now, scribbled on biographies of little boys who probably haven’t even received the talk about the Birds and the Bees.

Exactly

 

Oh, and come on – The Hair. If you’ve watched even one of the Lord of the Rings movies, you’ll notice how amazing it is that Legolas’ hair never, and not even once, looks dirty. I mean sure, you can get away with it while on a horse, traveling. But at the most climactic fight scenes, not even a drop of orc’s blood or even a spec of dirt lands on it. Now that’s just wrong.

So back to Bieber. First Step 2 Forever: My Story is about the singing sensation’s life from the beginning, up until now. My guess: Without the pictures, spanning about two pages. Including the pictures, the book may be about 300 pages long and only thirty minutes to go through it all. No wonder people love this book.

To me what seems so silly is that the Bieb’s writing about his story at Sixteen. I doubt that’s a lot to write about, not including what an average teenager writes about. But the world doesn’t seem to care about that, now do they?

Things an average teenager writes that the world doesn’t seem to care about:

-Rants about parents

-Rants about relationships

-Rants about teachers

-Rants about change

-Rants about the internet

I mean come one, give me an adolescent whose diary isn’t full of just rants.

Oh. Right.

But then again, Bieber’s book might just be worth the money, or not. It might depend on how serious your case of the Bieber fever is.

Send any and all Comments/Suggestions/Cloning tips to the E-mail address below:

talk.smash@gmail.com

So that’s it for this week’s Smash, I’ll catch you guys next week for more smashy goodness. In the mean time, I give you Evil:

The Wednesday Smash

“Loud enough to taste”