Tag Archives: Awesome

The Fitness February – Week 1: A Healthier Smash

Greetings, Earthlings.

I bring you another awesome smash.

Get ready.

This came about while I was strolling down the mall with a couple of my mates, I couldn’t help but notice the number of people walking around. It wasn’t so crowded, but when you just stare blankly at a certain area, it was like ComicCon came early this year.

Now anyway, as I was dodging, well trying at least, the huge number of people, I realized that it wasn’t their number that was huge. They were just really, well delicately speaking…

That should do it.

But really, fat people are awesome. I’m just not the type to let myself get there.  That’s why for the whole month of February, I’m going to write about Fitness, and Exercise.  I’m not going to do it alone though, and this is where you guys come in. I need everyone to send me what they think is a great Exercise Method, Diet, or just about anything related to fitness. Of course I’m going to inject some of my own fitness tips and tricks. All good and ready to give you a healthier smash. ( For the month, that is)

All right, so first thing’s first – The Mindset.

Diet programs or Workout routines all succeed with a good mindset. What you need is a goal, and why you want that goal. It is important to love your reward, or else it’ll all go down the drain.

So for the first week, the project is to start flexing your discipline muscle. Whether it be a Diet plan or a Workout, stick to it and stay away from whatever brings you down.

As far as Diets go, make sure it’s healthy. A crash diet won’t get you any thinner, it’ll only kill you. Go for organic Fruits and Vegetables and make sure you go for lean meats. Drink plenty of water and Freshly squeezed juice.

With your workout, something important is the will. You must always want to do it, or at least love the goal so much that you will not feel lazy while doing it. Most workouts fail because people just stop halfway. A workout is a commitment, just like a Diet plan.

But remember, this is not so you can look like a model. I’m not telling you that you need a perfect body for a perfect life, I’m here forwarding a healthier lifestyle. I don’t think Coronaries or heart attacks are your thing either. This is the main purpose of the Healthy Smash: A healthier lifestyle.

So remember gang,

*Healthy living is what’s important at the end of the day, not the body.

*A Diet plan and a Workout’s success all depend on one thing – The Mindset

*Discipline is key

Send any and all Comments/Suggestions/Fitness Tips/Dirty Laundry to the E-mail address below:

talk.smash@gmail.com

And now I leave you guys with another Autocorrect Fail(Take that Jobbs!)

The Wednesday Smash

“Edible Comedy”


Memory lane’s traffic was horrible. We’re taking my road now.

Hello everyone, and welcome to the smash.

This week, after the season of gift-giving(see: Last week’s smash), ghastly sweaters, and “family” time, it’s customary to follow it with even more parties, six days later.  You know it, I’m talking about New Year’s parties. Not only is it a way of kicking 2010 out the door, but everyone knows it as a perfectly excusable reason to get drunk.

And that’s why I don’t drink

So now let’s look back at how 2010 gave us a lasting impression by kneeing us in the groin:

1.

All right. Let’s start with January 12, 2010: The Haiti Earthquake

On the twelfth of Januaray, 2010, a 7.0 Magnitude struck Port-au-Prince, Haiti. Here’s BBC.

2.

And then from a man we all know and, well ever since his scandalous incident, it’s pretty obvious that he’s lost some fans. I’m talking about Tiger Woods.

Let’s rap: If you’ve been living under a rock this past year, you might not know that Tiger Woods has been walking around with a string of ladies looking for his golf club, if you know what I mean. *winks*

It, of course, hit magazine covers all around the world. It was February 19, 2010 that he called a press conference for an apology. He regained some of his fans after that, but some never did come around.

3.

Some call it a wondrous invention, others call it another attempt to swindle money out of people and come up with an even better version in six months, rendering the previous one tacky and obsolete. The Ipad.

The fact that it was just like a larger version of the Itouch never really became a hindrance to Apple’s sales. Apple fans one and all braved the weather to stand in line for hours just to grab one of these bad boys for themselves. The not-so fanatics of Apple merchandise waited for a better version which they expect would be coming out in a few months. This was known as one of Apple’s breakthrough inventions. Plus, it has a camera.

4.

On to more grave news, 2010 was the year one of the funniest comedians met his end.

Greg Giraldo was a comedian and one of the judges of The Last Comic Standing. He died on September 29,2010 at the age of 44, from a prescription drug overdose. Greg, you will be missed.

5.

And finally, what 2010 did to us that definitely left a lasting impression, and probably caused the hearts of men to just want to stop beating- Natalie Portman’s Engagement and Pregnancy.

A big cheers to the fellows at The Dog House for letting me add this to the smash.

Yes indeed, the V for Vendetta and Pirates of the Caribbean star Natalie Portman is engaged and is expecting her baby with fellow actor Benjamin Millepied, the choreographer for her movie, The Black Swan.

Now doesn’t that just break your heart? I mean, I can’t be the only one mourning right? Right?

Well those are my picks of 2010’s lasting impressions. Now I want to hear from you. Send any and all comments/suggestions/bear dung to the e-mail address below:

talk.smash@gmail.com

For this week, folks, I leave you instances of how real jerks your friends can be:

The Wednesday Smash

“Whut’s this ‘ere interweb?”


Pilot

Welcome to The Wednesday Smash, a blog dedicated to what he likes, what she likes, what I like, and everything in between. But mostly pickles.

I update every Wednesday so make sure you keep checking to get your weekly dose of the Smash. So get ready, ladies and gentlemen, your hump-days just got happier.

To start off this week’s smash, there’s this type of pizza that’s been on the buzz in this part of the world. But before that, let me fill you in on the details.

I was grabbing some dinner one night, so I walked around for a while (Two hours) and finally stumbled into a Pizza Hut. While reading through the menu, we decided to get the usual: Six Cheese special with two pastas and servings of mushroom soup. After giving our orders, and right before the waiter was about to rush it to the counter, my father stopped him and decided to add one more pizza: The Pizza Hut Lechon Pizza.

Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

Now where I’m from Lechon is a whole pig, the fat and all, roasted over coals and browned to perfection. It’s one of the Philippines’ flagship dishes, as famous as Adobo. If that didn’t give you quite a good picture of what a lechon is, here’s one in all its glory: Oink

It goes without saying that the Lechon isn’t exactly something you find on diet books, what with all the fat and cholesterol, this thing’s bound to get you to rushed to the emergency room. Then again, on that day St. Lukes had the “Half-off on all rooms promo.”

So back to the story, my father getting the lechon pizza. Granted, I’m not much for incredibly greasy pizza, but after two grueling hours of arguing whether Chinese trumps Mexican, or Italian as opposed to Mediterranean, all I needed now was something to munch on. So why not?

And so I made one of the worst decisions of my life.

Think of the greasiest piece of bread that you’ve ever had. Now on that slice of bread, there’s a piece of meat that’s about ninety per cent cholesterol. Now dump a whole lot of their “Special” Sauce. Ladies and Germs, in your hands is the Lechon Pizza. Throw it away.

Why they decided to serve such an abortion, I had no idea. On my first slice, I felt that if I didn’t stop my body would shut itself down just so I wouldn’t have to take in another bite. And don’t let me start on how I felt the next day. If you know what a hangover feels like, you’d be lucky to be feeling that instead of what I felt the next morning. What exactly inspired this terrible assault on the senses, I haven’t the idea.

All-in-all, the sales Pizza Hut must have made out of that ghastly pizza, might have been either out of depressed customers looking to eat their problems(life) away, or from people who grew tired of drinking games and decided to include this instead of alcohol for more interesting(dangerous) games.

And now it’s your turn: I want you guys to send me any and all pictures/experiences/videos of food that you’ll never eat. I’ll choose the top dishes and preview them next week. I expect gut-wrenching pictures that’ll take your appetite and bang its head against the wall. Send ’em to

talk.smash@gmail.com

Now, boys and girls, I give you a good laugh:

The Wednesday Smash

“Putting the You in Tubes since 1875”