Tag Archives: Drunk

Memory lane’s traffic was horrible. We’re taking my road now.

Hello everyone, and welcome to the smash.

This week, after the season of gift-giving(see: Last week’s smash), ghastly sweaters, and “family” time, it’s customary to follow it with even more parties, six days later. ¬†You know it, I’m talking about New Year’s parties. Not only is it a way of kicking 2010 out the door, but everyone knows it as a perfectly excusable reason to get drunk.

And that’s why I don’t drink

So now let’s look back at how 2010 gave us a lasting impression by kneeing us in the groin:

1.

All right. Let’s start with January 12, 2010: The Haiti Earthquake

On the twelfth of Januaray, 2010, a 7.0 Magnitude struck Port-au-Prince, Haiti. Here’s BBC.

2.

And then from a man we all know and, well ever since his scandalous incident, it’s pretty obvious that he’s lost some fans. I’m talking about Tiger Woods.

Let’s rap: If you’ve been living under a rock this past year, you might not know that Tiger Woods has been walking around with a string of ladies looking for his golf club, if you know what I mean. *winks*

It, of course, hit magazine covers all around the world. It was February 19, 2010 that he called a press conference for an apology. He regained some of his fans after that, but some never did come around.

3.

Some call it a wondrous invention, others call it another attempt to swindle money out of people and come up with an even better version in six months, rendering the previous one tacky and obsolete. The Ipad.

The fact that it was just like a larger version of the Itouch never really became a hindrance to Apple’s sales. Apple fans one and all braved the weather to stand in line for hours just to grab one of these bad boys for themselves. The not-so fanatics of Apple merchandise waited for a better version which they expect would be coming out in a few months. This was known as one of Apple’s breakthrough inventions. Plus, it has a camera.

4.

On to more grave news, 2010 was the year one of the funniest comedians met his end.

Greg Giraldo was a comedian and one of the judges of The Last Comic Standing. He died on September 29,2010 at the age of 44, from a prescription drug overdose. Greg, you will be missed.

5.

And finally, what 2010 did to us that definitely left a lasting impression, and probably caused the hearts of men to just want to stop beating- Natalie Portman’s Engagement and Pregnancy.

A big cheers to the fellows at The Dog House for letting me add this to the smash.

Yes indeed, the V for Vendetta and Pirates of the Caribbean star Natalie Portman is engaged and is expecting her baby with fellow actor Benjamin Millepied, the choreographer for her movie, The Black Swan.

Now doesn’t that just break your heart? I mean, I can’t be the only one mourning right? Right?

Well those are my picks of 2010’s lasting impressions. Now I want to hear from you. Send any and all comments/suggestions/bear dung to the e-mail address below:

talk.smash@gmail.com

For this week, folks, I leave you instances of how real jerks your friends can be:

The Wednesday Smash

“Whut’s this ‘ere interweb?”